Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
