I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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