she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
