Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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