At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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