I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i think i just lost a toe
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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