i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
