i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
