is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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