12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
