just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
