I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
