why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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