1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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