she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
