That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
