Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry AKjonesy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.

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(815): View more from Illinois

My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI

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(718): View more from New York

he told me my vagina needed a tic tac

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(310): View more from California

I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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(310): View more from California

I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system

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(361): View more from Texas

u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."

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(615): View more from Tennessee

This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???

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