Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
