I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
