I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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