she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
