so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
