Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
