Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
