i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
