MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
