and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
