i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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