Having a random hookup so left but love u
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
