I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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