Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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