Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I did not marry a roomba.
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