i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
