i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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