remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
