Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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