Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
