I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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