so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
