dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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