Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
