so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize