Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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