U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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