My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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