the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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