All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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