hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
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I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
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The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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