I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
