i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
