You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
literally had 100 drinks last night.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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