The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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