I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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