Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
