So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
