i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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