I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I wish there were birth control emojis
This baby is an asshole
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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