I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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