Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Randomize
