It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
