So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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