whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
