Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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