Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
this just has baby written all over it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
