dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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