I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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