my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize